Shatter Page 2

  “You must be new here.” Digging my feet into the ground, I stopped mid swing and gave her an odd look.

  “What makes you say that?”

  She took the cigarette from my fingers and put it against her lips before inhaling deeply, “Saw you guys unpacking, plus I’ve lived here for a few years.”

  As she exhaled the smoke, I chuckled, “Thought you said there was no smoking?”

  Giving a grin she shrugged her shoulders, “I’ve never been one for rules.” I watched her flick my cigarette butt onto the ground and give a faint smile.

  “Yeah me neither.” I breathed out before looking to the sky, the sun felt so good against my face.

  “I’m Alana by the way, but you can call me Al, it’s what I go by.”

  I looked to her and rose an eyebrow. “Al, huh? Like a guy’s name?”

  She nodded. “It’s a hell of a lot shorter, besides it kind of just stuck,”

  I stood up and looked towards her before speaking, “Well, Al, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Vega.”

  She took hold of my hand and shook it before letting go. “That’s an unusual name, but I like it. Is it your real name?”

  Tucking my hands into my pockets, I leaned beside her and shrugged, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but we’ll just leave it at that for now.”

  She nudged me and smirked. “You’re kind of mysterious, I like that.” She leaned off the metal frame and started to walk off before turning around to look at me, “See you around in school.” As I watched her walk away, I could only smile. Perhaps I had just made a new friend!

  Glancing to the sky, I had noticed the sun was slowly starting to set, and figured I should head home before my mother sent out a search party. When I had walked through the door, my mother had been sitting in the living room reading the paper. I kicked off my shoes and sat by her side before looking around, “Where’s Craig?”

  Setting the paper to the side, she looked to me, “He went to work, won’t be home till morning.”

  Folding my hands onto my lap I stared at them. “So…then, I can talk to you about something?” It seemed I had her attention; she placed her hand on top of my own and gave me a concerned look.

  “Of course you can! What is it?” Looking up to her I laughed lightly.

  “It’s nothing serious, Mom. I was just…well I was hoping you and I could spend the day together tomorrow, you know just you and me. We really haven’t had much time together since you’ve met Craig, and like I said earlier, school starts in a week, I guess…I just miss spending time with you.”

  Giving my hand a light squeeze she spoke softly, “I know sweetie, and I’m sorry for that…Listen, why don’t you get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow you and I will go down to the boardwalk, take a walk along the beach and just talk. Just you and me.”

  My head tilted up as my face lit with a smile. “Yes, that would be perfect. Night Mom, love you.”

  She placed a kiss onto my forehead. “I love you too.”

  Moving upstairs and into my bedroom I shut the door, and exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding in. So maybe I was wrong, maybe we weren’t becoming so distant, and yet part of me couldn’t help but feel doubt. As I stood in front of the mirror hanging off my wall, I slid off my shirt tossing it to the side and had removed my black bra. I couldn’t help but trace my index finger over the long scar that ran from just under my right breast and ended at my belly button. The scar had faded over two years’ time but still brought back an unsettling feeling. Shaking the thought from my mind, I reached into my dresser and pulled on a plain T-shirt before sliding off my jeans and crawling into bed. The crisp and cool sheets felt welcoming and it had not taken long for me to drift off to sleep. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad here after all, then again only time would tell.

  Thunder rolled across the darkened sky as lighting crackled in the distance, striking the ground below with a merciless tone. As the downpour of rain continued, heart thudding against my chest while my sneakers kicked up the muddy puddles around me.

  “Serah! Where are you? Can you hear me?” There was no reply to my mother’s voice. I could hear the sadness in her words, breaking my heart all the more.

  “Please Serah, come back!” But I didn’t want to go back. How could I go back?

  “Serah! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” But she did mean it; she meant every word she had said, and it made me hate her, no, I hated myself even more because she was right. My left foot caught an uprooted branch as I fell to the ground, my hands twisted to fists as I screamed, letting out a cry of desperation. Men dressed in black and yellow leather jackets began to run towards me; I sat up onto my knees screaming at them,

  “Go away! Get away from me!” One of the men wrapped their arms around me, pulling me backwards, causing me to thrash wildly,

  “NO! LET ME GO! I HAVE TO GO BACK! LET ME GO!”

  Gasping for air, I sprang upright in my bed, looking around my room, only to let out a soft sigh, wiping the beads of sweat from my forehead. Nightmares seemed to be more frequent than I’d like to admit, but perhaps that was just part of my guilty conscience. Pulling the covers off, I moved out of bed and shuffled down the hall into the bathroom flipping on the lights. The red lettering of the digital clock became legible after I rubbed my eyes. It was only eight in the morning, but I was already wide awake and had decided to take a hot shower.

  After scrubbing myself clean, I shut off the water grabbing a towel and quickly dried off; I was looking forward to spending time with my mother today. Moving back down the hall, I threw on some clothes and headed downstairs putting my shoes on. I quietly moved towards my mother’s room and peeked in seeing that Craig was sound asleep right next to her. I didn’t want to risk waking Craig up so I let her sleep. Grabbing a quick bite to eat, I left a note on the counter for my mom: ‘I decided to leave early. I’ll meet you down by the dock later today. I’ve got my cell so just text me when you’re on the way.’ As I left the house, I made my way down into town and waited for the local bus and hopped on taking it to the boardwalk. Once I got off, I was surprised to see the amount of people out so early, then again this was California.

  At least I could enjoy a smoke while I waited for my mother; just the thought of us spending some time together without Craig was more inviting than the nicotine currently invading my lungs. Okay, maybe not that good, but pretty damn close to it. Hell, it gave us a chance to reconnect! As I made my way down to the docks, I found a single pier and sat down at the edge, letting my feet hang close to the water. Birds flew overhead as boats sat in the middle of the water; fishermen eager for the catch of the day as their lines dangled in the water. God it was so relaxing out here! No wonder why all these people were out, and yet I couldn’t ignore the sad feeling creeping upon my heart. Everyone was out here with their family: fathers and mothers chasing their kids about on the beach, splashing in the water and laughing with one another. They were lucky, at least in my eyes, because they had one thing that I have come to lack over the last two years: a smile.

  My thoughts were disrupted when Al sat down by my side. I gave a smirk looking to her, “Don’t worry, I checked for signs before I light up my smoke.”

  A chuckle escaped her perfect thin lips, “I’m sure you did. Mind if I bum one?” Shaking my head, I took one out and lit it up before handing it to her.

  “Thanks…so…what are you doing out so bright and early?” There was something about Al that intrigued me, and I had only just met her yesterday, and yet I couldn’t help but keep the conversation going.

  “My mom is supposed to meet me out here on the boardwalk to spend some time with me before school starts.”

  As Al inhaled a drag, she paused before exhaling, “She work a lot or something?”

  I flicked my butt into the water before shaking my head, “Nah, she’s just been too busy with Craig.”

  The way I said his name must have flipped a switch in Al because her next question was rather
upsetting: “I’m guessing you and your father don’t see eye to eye.”

  Defense, guard up, one of the easiest things for me to do in an attempt to shut everyone out, but not Al and I didn’t know why, but I answered, “That piece of shit is far from being my father: he’s just the asshole my mother married.”

  AL flicked her butt to the side and exhaled the last of her smoke, her legs swinging lightly, she seemed to fall silent, at least for a moment, until she asked, “So… where’s your real dad?” Sore subject, and I really didn’t want to talk about it, so I did what came natural as of late, I lied, but she wouldn’t know that.

  “He left.” Not too far from the truth but it was as close as the truth as I would dare get.

  “That sucks! My mother divorced my dad when she found him in bed with his secretary, so I get it.”

  Anger began to pump through my veins like a raging fire, and my mouth just ran on its own as I stood up, “No, you don’t! So don’t pretend you do, alright? You don’t have a fucking clue what it’s like!”

  Open mouth, insert foot, at least that’s what I should have done when I saw an apologetic look on AL’s face. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to snap at you…”

  AL stood up and placed a hand onto my shoulder. That smile of hers! There was something about it that just made my heart flutter. It was weird!

  “Hey…it’s already forgotten.” I returned the smile and was about to speak, until I felt my cellphone vibrate. Taking it out, I flipped it open and read the text from my mother,

  ‘Sorry sweetie, looks like I won’t be able to make it to the boardwalk today. Craig had a day off and wanted to show me the building he would be working on, so we will be spending the day there and going to dinner later. We can try again tomorrow’.

  Closing my phone, I grit my teeth, tears threatened to fall but I didn’t let them; I just inhaled deeply. Tomorrow? No, that wouldn’t work for me! If she was going to choose Craig over me again, then she could just go fuck herself!

  AL looked to me, “Something wrong?”

  Tucking my cell back into my pocket, I looked to her. “My mom just blew me off…”

  AL just smiled and hooked her arm into mine and began walking to the boardwalk, “Then looks like it’s just you and me today.” I could have said no, and just went home to sulk in my room. Yet, spending time with Al made me happy, dare I say that? Just what the hell was it about her that intrigued me so? More to the point, she just met me yesterday, and yet here she was spending time with me when she could be doing whatever it was she normally did.

  One great thing about California was that nobody seemed to care about where you came from, or why you dressed down instead of dressing up. At least that’s what I had begun to notice throughout the day as Al and I visited several small shops and boutiques. Damn, the boardwalk was literally like a small strip of outlet malls, minus the outrageous prices; still, I was impressed. We had decided to grab lunch at a coffee shop, though I was keener on the caffeine than I was eating; Al was pretty much the same.

  “So, do you like it here? How’s the school?” My question was small, simple and I was hoping Al would be able to tell me at least something good about the school.

  Her fingers drummed along the edges of her mug before she took a small sip and set it to the side. “Mmm…I guess you could say I like it here. Hell, there’s a lot of things to do, so you never really get bored. As for the school? Well…it’s school, but everyone there is pretty chill. Don’t get me wrong; they love gossip just like any others. Now the teachers? Well, they’re pretty strict in a ‘No nonsense’ kind of way.”

  A faint sigh escaped my lips before I looked to the side. “Damn! Was hoping you’d say the teachers were laid back.”

  Her response to my comment was laughter, at least until she saw the trace of sadness in my eyes, and placed her hand over mine, “Hey, cheer up, Vega! You won’t be alone you know, at least you know me, and that is a very big thing. I’m kind of an important person.”

  My head turned before I looked to her with a smirk, “Oh, is that so? You the queen Bee or something?”

  Shaking her head, she waved her hand in a nonchalant manner, “Hardly, but let’s just say people know better than to fuck with me.”

  Now that made me laugh, which seemed to make her smile. Leaning forward I gave her a knowing look, “So you’re a bad ass, huh? I like that.” I leaned back into my chair staring at her; those Ivory eyes, they were so intense, yet they seemed to hold mystery. The more I had thought what I had just said, the more it made me realize one vital thing: it sounded like I was flirting with her, which would explain the faint flush of red across her cheeks. I had to leave while I could; the last thing I wanted to do was disgust the first person I would know as a friend in a new school.

  Chapter 3

  High School Hell

  The days had gone by faster than I would have liked, but at least I still had my sanity, or so I had thought at first. I had left Al hanging by herself at the cafe, telling her my mom was having a meltdown at home and I had to go home. It was mainly because of the comment I made to Al. Did she think of me differently? Weird? Either way, it wasn’t a total lie, because when I had gotten home my mother was furious, asking me where I had been all day and why I didn’t answer her texts. Though, I turned it around on her, claiming she was the one who bailed on me, not the other way around. It’s been nearly two weeks now, and the two of us really don’t speak much. Of course my silence was much to Craig’s approval, he never did care for me sharing how I felt, about anything, at all.

  When the bell rang, I grabbed my books and headed down the hall to my locker; thankfully it was lunch time, though I wasn’t really hungry. As I headed down and to the cafeteria, I sat down at an empty table but it wasn’t long before a pair of slender arms wrapped around my neck. “Thought you could hide from me all year?”

  I smirked as Al removed her arms and took a seat next to me. “Now who said I was hiding?” I mused before nudging her arm.

  Letting out a laugh she gave me a serious look, “I’m just saying you’ve been really distant. Are you okay! Did I like piss you off or something?”

  Now that question threw me through a loop. I was nowhere near mad at AL; quite the opposite, I missed her but how could I say that without seeming…odd? Peeling the edge of my notebook, I shook my head. “No, you didn’t do anything. Just been tough at home, you know?”

  Al seemed sympathetic; her hand moved on top of mine, to stop its endless fiddling with my notebook. “Hey, I’m sure it will get better; you and your mom will patch things up eventually.”

  That sounded nice, but it really wasn’t as simple as patching things up: the relationship between me and my mother had been strained for quite some time. “Maybe, in time. Who knows?”

  “Who knows what?” Tyler asked, god he was so damn annoying but he made up for that with his comedic style, and tendency to interrupt class. His arms wrapped around Al, who’s comforting touch left my hand somewhat cold.

  She grumbled in an annoyed manner pushing his arms from around her, “Ew, go hump someone else’s leg Tyler.” I couldn’t help but laugh, which I stopped when he shot a glare at me before he grinned.

  “Aw come on, Al, I know you want me.” His left hand slid down along her thigh, which she slapped away.

  “Jesus Tyler, I said go away.” She laughed, swatting at him.

  Sliding my chair back, I stood up which made Al look towards me. “Vega?”

  Tyler laughed lightly, “Oooh, I think she’s jealous I’m touching you.” Christ what a stupid thing for him to say, but was he right?

  “God Tyler! Don’t be gross.” I had gone to say something, but once I had heard Al, I felt this… sting in my chest. What the hell was wrong with me?

  Grabbing my notebook, I headed out of the cafeteria; lunch was nowhere near over but I had to get out of there. Turning down the hall, I hid beneath a staircase and sighed; none of it made sense, the way I felt about Al, the way I felt
towards her. If anything, I was disgusted by the boys who’d constantly been hitting on me since I started here. I was about to head to my next class earlier than I wanted, until Al poked her head under the stair case.

  “Hiding again, huh?” I had forgotten she knew where I hung out when I was stressed.

  As she stood in front of me, I looked to her. “Sorry, just felt a bit dizzy. Wanted to get out of there.” God I really needed to stop lying! I was a shitty Liar, and Al made that clear a few times.

  “Dizzy? Maybe I should take you to the nurse.” Her hand went to reach for mine but I flinched away making her raise an eyebrow.

  “No, I’m fine. Aright! So stop worrying about me.” She sighed and crossed her arms.

  “Is this because of that stupid comment Tyler made about you being jealous? You know how he is. It was just a joke, Vega!”

  Defense up, “It was not a joke! I mean…ugh! You know what just forget it!”

  AL seemed to be at a loss for words. It had taken her a few moments before she noticed the shade of red on my cheeks. “Oh…wait seriously? You’re kidding right?” That faint laugh of hers, I don’t know, if it made me blush more, or pissed me off. Fuck it, I didn’t need to make friends here, and I may as well just get this embarrassing moment over with.

  “No… Yes I was jealous! But don’t worry about it…I don’t want to be gross.”

  That seemed to make Al frown; the hurt in her eyes made my own heart ache. “Vega…I didn’t mean you were gross! I just meant…look I didn’t know you were into me, or into girls for that matter.”

  I clenched my notebook. “I’m not! I’m just… I don’t know. Just forget it, alright?” Before she could say anything else, I brushed past her and headed up the stairs. Thankfully we only had three hours of school left, but that didn’t make it any easier on me. During History, all I could do was look over at Al, who just kept staring at me the entire time with those apologetic eyes. She had done nothing wrong; I was the one who was wrong, or at least that’s how it felt to me.